November 30, 2011

  • Joy

    Today, after many months of being mildly-moderately sorrowful (given my normally hypomanic self) I've found myself smiling really joyfully.  It's not that I haven't had joy this past year, but I've been relatively sad for the better part of a year now, with intermittent moments of sharp pangs, interspersed with moments of real joy.  And it's not as if now I'm blithely smiling like a lackwit - no, I'm merely especially cognizant and appreciative of God's goodness.

    I suppose as one ages, the reasons for sorrow increase, especially if one is a thinker.  One can contemplate the death of one's loved ones, the state of the world economy, global inequality and so forth.  Indeed, the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, and so... wisdom inevitably contemplates reasons for sorrow and concern.

    Nevertheless, real joy can co-mingle with real sorrow.

    Lamentations 3:22-23

    22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, 
       for his compassions never fail. 
    23 They are new every morning; 
       great is your faithfulness.

    Even in the midst of devastation, the writer of Lamentations could write joyfully about the goodness of God.  It's not a silly, childish thing, in my mind at all.  It's really a matter of sublime understanding of one's place in the universe - how small one is, how imperfect - and yet be awestruck by the person of God.

    For me, this year has been a great reminder of God's faithfulness.  Despite my fallen state, mistakes made, sin... God still maintains grace to me.  For that, I can have joy.  

    It has been my Annus Horribilis.  There have been years that may have competed, but this, I hope, will be the worst ever.  Fingers crossed.

    Joy.

    I am so very thankful for my God and Saviour for his unending goodness to me... to us.  He is so merciful to us - for we are fallen and selfish.  I am so grateful for his goodness to me.  I am forgiven.