September 13, 2009

  • Interlude: Feedback Loops/Homeostasis

    Homeostasis - Wiki Entry
    Negative Feedback Loops - Wiki Entry

    Equilibria require opposing processes that do not overcome one another.  In the body, processes that occur in the forward direction need to be checked, lest an unhealthy amount of something accumulates.  Equilibria in nature are easy to think of also, looking at Carbon cycles, urea cycles, food chains and the like.  Engineers take advantage of feedback loops to build in stability to processes they create, lest functions go "out of range."  Cell growth that isn't checked by suppression results in cancer...

    I think that one of the cool things about the way God made people is we have built in neurological feedback loops to control muscular activity and behaviours, with rewards/pleasure and pain.  We also have diverse decision making algorithms built in; we often argue with ourselves internally, arriving at different decisions using different logics and points of view.  Your left and right brained ways of dealing with information allows for some very interesting syntheses indeed.

    Taking it a step further, one reason, I suspect, that good marriages work well, is also related to good feedback loops, where each partner checks the more radical aspects of one another's decision making processes.  While not always pleasant, this sort of procedural error checking probably reduces the number of "dumb moves" that either might otherwise make.

    Push, pull. 

    It can actually help, perhaps?

    Sometimes we resent other people for bringing up alternate ways of looking at things; it's silly, because we do so internally, right?  We don't normally hate ourselves for bringing ourselves up short... so, perhaps it might be helpful to be thankful when our other does so too?

    Earlier related thoughts:
    Fights
    Dans Macabre
    Dance as an Allegory

Comments (7)

  • I think pushing and pulling is necessary in a marriage, but it also leads to marital discord.

    I have found that the one who is the more conservative ends up doing all the pulling--and ends up feeling like a dead weight, while the one who is more of a risk-taker gets to do all the pushing, which is more fun--but ends up feeling that the other person is holding him back.

    For example, I am more stingy with my money than Mr Brett. So he is the one who gets to say fun things like, "Let's go stay at a five-star resort!", but I am the boring one who has to say things like, "No, it's too expensive." So he feels that I am always saying no to him. But on the other hand, since Mr Brett has me, when he suggests hotels he doesn't have to count the cost, knowing that I will. So I resent that I am always the one who has to say no.

    And if we want to have consensus on how much money we want to spend, the consensus often goes with the lowest-common-denominator. Since he is comfortable at any price range, we often end up staying at a hotel at a price that _I_ feel comfortable with. This results in him feeling that I always get my way.

    You get the idea.

    I think in a marriage the only way to resolve is this by:
    a) Lots of communication
    b) Submission (one person has to eventually submit to the other, and by the Bible's teaching this is the wife)

  • In other words, you can reach equilibrium within marriage most of the time through discussion, but equilibrium cannot always be reached. In that case one has to submit to the other....

  • @TizzyAlexander - Thanks for your comments!

    I guess my point in the above post was that it's important that there is a purpose to the push/pull and that both parties should hopefully realise that the difference of opinion is probably good for them, likely improving the quality of aggregate decisions... and that there is a degree of process specialization, even in the cognitive sense.  As you pointed out in your own relationship that you have a better innate cost-calculation for the hotel selection, and you value lower cost alternatives more than he...

    Thanks for sharing from your own experiences, Tizzy!

    :)

  • love this :).  both the thoughts on difference of opinion being a source of edification, and the fascinating comparisons you made to random other processes (God-created ones too!).  thanks for sharing as always.

  • @Polymath - 

    @Polymath - 

    Yes, I believe we are saying the same thing. I also agree that pushing and pulling (i.e. having 2 different opinions and sets of gifts) within a marriage in a good thing. As Miltinnie likes to say, "Marriage is God's way of redeeming us from our selfishness." But my point is also that even though this is ultimately a good thing, and people may start off saying, "This is what I want, an equal, balanced marriage," it leads to conflict, and arguing, and instead of thinking, "This is good for me," most people end up thinking, "How come we never get along," or worse, "I must have married the wrong person." (And yes that was a giant run-on sentence :)

  • And ultimately, I don't believe it is my job as a wife to act as a procedural error checker. Up to a point I can be a counter weight to my husband, but in the end I have to submit and allow him to book us into the 5 star hotel. In the end, when we run out of money, maybe he will learn to be more frugal in future...or he may not. In either case, it is not my job to save him from making rash decisions, it's his.
    (And I am beginning to think I should blog about this myself instead of hijacking your post!)

  • @TizzyAlexander - 

    Agreed... I don't think that either person's role is to be that of an error checker; it's a fringe benefit of working together... dynamics of difference, you know?

    :)

    Looking forward to seeing your response post!

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